Back to the blogging world...

Its been some time since i have last blogged. Alot has happened ever since. Kelvin left for Perth a day after valentine's day. Prior to his departure, there were alot of preparations for his trip. I think at the end of the day, we were more interested in spending time with each other. Its been almost two months since his departure. I do miss him alot. I cannot just call him and expect him to be free to talk to me. Its different when you are not in the same country.I even have people asking me whether i was actually going to wait for him for two years for him. Its not common to hear of a girl waiting for a guy. But at the end of the day, if you know what you want and its right, then you have to be patient. You may not get happiness immediately but it will definately come your way soon. We are not allowed to change the fate of our lives though. I would like to quote kelvin at this point of time, 'If its meant to be, its meant to be'.

My maternal grandmother passed away peacefully in March. I still can remember the morning my aunt called my mobile to deliver the news. I was given the responsibility of breaking the news to my family. Due to circumstances, we decided not to tell my mum the news till she reached my uncle's place. My grandmother looked very peaceful. She looked as though she was sleeping. Her body was cold and there were signs of bruising. She had passed away at about midnight. According to my aunt, she was aware that her end was near. She actually packed her handbag and placed her mug containing her toothbrush and toothpaste beside her bed. It was as though she knew she would be needing the basic necessities in the next world. Sometimes i wonder, what thoughts were going through her head as she breathed in her last breath of life? Did she have any sort of fear or was she happy to be going as she had seen the world already? We will never know the answers to these questions though.

We kept her body for three days till all my aunts arrived. They bathed their mother for the last time, dressed her up in her favourite colour (green) and bid her goodbye. This was my first funeral at Mandai crematorium. I was strong till the end. As my aunts,mother and all the grandkids placed a rose on her , it hit me then that it was really time for her to go. Looking at her the last time, i thanked her for all she had done.Being her first grandchild, i was always doted upon. The love she showered me was so obvious that my younger cousin once commented, "how come maa sayang paavin (thats what my mum side calls me. i think the 'R' went missing somewhere) so much. My aunt said it was because i was the first grandchild. Even though she could not speak her hugs were full of love. The times where i would just sleep next to her while she stroked my hair while the others were all in the hall would be something i remember. She always used to be fasinated by my colourful watches. She would hold my wrist and just laugh. These are some things i will cheerish.

As her casket was closed and pushed to the cremation area, I had a feeling she was happier elsewhere. You will always be remembered Maa..